"Napoleon"
Tate what have you done?
Gone for so long yes you were
I have been stuck in my car
In the cold wearing my hat of fur.
Tate what have you done?
Worried sick yes I was
Digging and digging was I with nothing to show
Time to get help yes it was
Tate what have you done?
Almost done waiting going to look for you
Getting pulled with nothing to hook onto
Got it out, looking like nothing but new.
I like the last stanza (not only because of the rhyme); the "look for you" and "hook onto" has great ryhthm and it wraps the story up well. I also like the story you chose to tell. It is funny, and I can hear your personality coming through. The structure is a little bit confusing. I had trouble at first with the second line of each stanza. It took me awhile to realize that it wasn't you saying those lines. I think you could add something in there to make that more clear.
ReplyDeleteI really liked the rhymes that you put into the poem, the first one especially. I do want to know why you named the poem Napoleon and how you incorperated that into the poem.
ReplyDeleteI really liked the rhyming, and the story that you portrayed. Why did you give your car life like qualities, and what do you think that adds to the poem?
ReplyDelete